just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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