My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she told me i tasted like america
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
