Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
