im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
