So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
