I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
