So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
