If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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