You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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