Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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