I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
