I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
