I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
