Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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