do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
