We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
