i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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