I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
