38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
