I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
