he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
