So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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