I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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