If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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