hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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