I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
