Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
