She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
