Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
