She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
