At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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