Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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