You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
