Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
