So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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