I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
