these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
