At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
