no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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