She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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