It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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