did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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