I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
