??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
