Whod you bang
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
