haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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