we're blogging at a bar
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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