is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
