Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
