why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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